I replaced the heart on 35th today, seems someone took the heart I made for you and put there shortly after the crash. I made this one red your favorite color from what I'm told, picked up a piece of glass that still remains at the site, held it in my hand and said a little prayer. The prayer of course contained the usual, mostly questions as to why, what was the reason, what are we to be taught, what is the message, help us understand, help us all to heal and ending by asking for strength, forgiveness and to say thanks for blessing us with your presence, even though it was for such a short time.
I will admit I struggled with my own emotional issues this weekend unrelated to the 10th, but I was given perspective in what happened to you, Karen, Perry, Rebecca your cuz's, grandparents, other relatives and friends was far more severe and traumatic than anything I had to process through and being a parent myself everything in my life pales in comparison to what they must wake up to, face and live with everyday. For that I pray for strength to them as I do to everyone else who is suffering regardless of whom they are or the cause of their suffering. There are things in life us on Earth will never understand until we get to heaven and are able to ask the one in charge why? Till then we have to draw on strength to get us through whenever and wherever we can obtain in.
Someone, created the phrase: who, what, where, why & when. In almost every case or situation we are able to determine them all but one of these questions. We will know the "WHO", we can figure out the "WHAT", calculating the "WHERE" is somewhat easy, even the particular "WHEN". The one that we can never seem to get is the "WHY" Setting that up as a math formula for any situation and the algerbraic answer is always the same x+"why"="why", which means we need to solve for the unknown "X"!
I did find it ironic as I was unscrewing the broken piece of heart that remained at the crash site. The thought came to mind that there are so many broken pieces of heart left at that very site, I wished as I installed the new heart on the pole, in essence repairing the symbol and meaning of love there that I could do that for all the broken hearts of those whom Jake was loved by.
Two years might as well be two seconds on the passage of time as it reflects to those of us dealing with the "WHY" Those of us that know the "WHY", but refuse to admit it are only fooling themselves and will never rest until they accept and deal with the truth.
Another popular saying is: "Rest in Peace" knowing Jake I really don't think that applies to him.
Missing You / Auntie Blondie
Two years ago today you were taken from us and the memories of everything that happened that day are with me each and every day. I try to remember that you are in a better place but it doesn't make it any easier. You are still not here! We all miss you Jake and we always will. You are in our hearts forever. Please watch over all of us and keep us safe. Close
I awoke from a fitful sleep before dawn this morning, much the same as I did the day after you were taken from us. I walked to and fro around the house as daylight broke, much the same as then, not knowing what to do. Much has changed, yet much remains the same.
Oh, how I wish I could turn back time! If only I could have known then what I know now!
We all miss you so very much. The days without you continue to be a struggle; our feet are heavier, our heads held lower, our burdens harder to bear. The weight of our load doesn't get any lighter, we've just become more accustomed to carrying it. We talk a good game, put on a brave face and try to carry on. We struggle on for your sake, knowing you would be disappointed in us if we were to simply give up.
Please know that I tried as hard as I could to be the best I could for you. I was blind then to what I now see so clearly, to my everlasting regret.
You knew. Everyone knew except us. I wish you would have told me; I would have fixed it that very day. Did I not take care of all your concerns quickly?
We miss you more than we can convey with mere words. We wait patiently for the day when we will be reunited once again, our family whole.
Tell me, what is it like when the bottom falls out of your world? When life ceases to have any meaning and your future is no more When your heart breaks in two and there seems no reason to go on How do you find motivation for tomorrow?
Perhaps there is no answer And you ask 'Why does God permit such tragedies'? You live your life as best you can You help others along the way and yet... You are rewarded with such pain
How do you face another day when half your life is no longer here? Do you give up and walk away with happiness a distant place? Or do you leave the door of your heart ajar so that healing will enter and life reborn?
For God comes to those that weep It is He who will get you through Out of tragedy new life will come Out of darkness will come light Be brave, be strong and light the candle of tomorrow
Been missin u / DJ Kasper (cousin/friend)
Hey jake, lately i've been thinkin about you a lot and all the fun memories we had, I wish with every bone in my body that u were still here but I'm sure i'll c ya up there one day, save a spot for me would ya. Close
not one moment or memory... / Shanea Konrad (Close Friend (like a little sister) )Read >>
not one moment or memory... / Shanea Konrad (Close Friend (like a little sister) )
jake...if there isnt a memory i am not thinking of it is ...the moments we could of shared...we were really close... and nothing will ever change that...i love you with all my heart...everyone i knew that knew you, remembered you cuz u are fun and caring... i still remember the 1st time i saw u... walking into my house when i was at my neighbors and said hi with that smile u alwayz had on... i miss u terribly...it was really hard at graduation...knowing you would of walked...i cried just imagining you go across stage...i am just dropping by to tell you i love you and miss you lts....
Tattered 'round the edges, And faded now with time; Memories that linger still, Are what they left behind. Like a precious package, Kept in a secret room; Each memory a treasure, A family heirloom.
On rare and quiet occasion, The package opens wide; Revealing then the memories, That nestle there inside, Faces etched in memories Like photos from the past; Each snapshot printed in the heart, Are memories that last.
Worn and ragged photographs, So faded now with time; Yet the lasting love deep in your heart, Is what they left behind.
Sorry for not getting to visit as of late, but I am back on track, now that I am completely moved. Always loving and thinking of you and your family, Melissa
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