This memorial website was created in the memory of our son Jacob. Born April 20th 1988.
Up until September 10th 2004, never did we think we'd ever be a grieving family. Losing a child in a fatal accident was something that never happened to our family or friends. It only happened to other people....a friend of a friend, or someone you read about or saw on television..never did we think we'd ever have to endure something this tragic.
Jake was born on April 20th, 1988 at St. Luke's Hospital in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Died September 10th, 2004 in a 2 car vehicle collision. Jake was a belted passenger in a Dodge Neon. Traveling westbound on Rawson Avenue, in Franklin, Wisconsin, the accident occured when an elderly man failed to yield. Facts of accident evidence indicate the car Jake was traveling in had improper working brakes, which contributed to the death of our son.
Jake leaves his memory and his contagious smile, with his father Perry, his mother, Karen, his sister Rebecca, Grandparents, Edward, Barbara, Carl & Beverly, many many friends, Aunts Cheri, Debbie, Sue, Sharon, Linda, Lori, Jill, Uncles Don, Steve, Mark, Tom, Jeff, Dave, Brad and Cousins DJ, Jesse, Hannah, Jessica, Joshua, Zachary, Hailey, Tyler, Austin, Adam, Trisha, & David. Special Angels Heidi, and Kimberly who have a very special place in our hearts.
We are all here for each other as a circle of friends and family and this web-site is to share our memories and support each other in our sorrow of losing a son, friend, grandson, cousin, nephew. ®
...And we know that all things work
together for good to them that
love God. To them that are the called
according to his purpose.
The Grieving Person's Bill of Rights
You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don't allow them to tell what you should or should not be feeling.
You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief.
You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don't take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.
You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don't allow others to push you into doing things you don't feel ready to do.
You have the right to experience grief "attacks." Sometime, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.
You have the right to make use of ritual. The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone loved. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More important, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you that rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don't listen.
You have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk to who won't be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
You have the right to search for meaning. You may find yourself asking, "Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now?" Some of you questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, "It was God's will" or "Think of what you have to be thankful for" are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
You have the right to treasure your memories. Memories are the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember them. Instead of ignoring your memories, find other with whom you can share them.
You have the right to move toward your grief and heal. Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.